The Real Zombie Apocalypse

        

  The recent proliferation of films set amid a zombie apocalypse has succeeded in lulling to sleep the living. It’s time to wake up and smell the rotten flesh. The zombie apocalypse is here—and it’s real. The important thing for the living to do is to stay calm. There is still a chance to avoid becoming a mindless undead thing. However, we must take action now.

          Zombies are dead persons who are able to move because of magic and resemble the so-called walking dead. The film versions are mindless destroyers and eaters of living flesh, especially the brain. In Voodoo practice, zombies are under the control of an evil practitioner and kept as slaves. Movie zombies tend to be more the cannibalistic result of science or disease run amok. As such they are even less believable than the Voodoo variety. Nevertheless, appearing nonexistent, nonsensical, or fictional are favorite disguises of the devil.

          Zombies are all around us. Dead, mindless, automatons are not as easy to spot as you might think. The real trick is learning zombie recognition. The first clue is that zombies are dead. Paul told the people of Ephesus that before their conversion to Christianity they “were dead in trespasses and sin. Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air…” Did you get that? Those not in Christ are---dead; yet they walk powered by the devil.

Zombies!

Paul goes on to say that God gave those who refused Him over to a “reprobate mind…without understanding.” It makes you wonder about people who let television and print tell them how to look; what to eat; when to exercise, who to support; and why more taxes will give everyone whiter teeth.. Sounds like mindlessness to me.

Zombies!

They dead, walki8ng, mindless creatures, having conquered America, are trying to dominate the world. They try to force the world into democracy; gays into Sochi, civilized behavior onto Muslims; and vegans into wearing leather shoes. Anyone or anything that doesn’t fit or fold gets attacked.

Zombies, I tell you.

If those without Christ are dead and going about as zombies, then Christians must be the living. It makes sense; the living are zombie food. They bite and devour Christians who disagree with zombie-speak. Zombies attack our faith because they want to make us into zombies too. The living are fleeing the cities as zombies spread the blue death across the map.

It’s not too late. “Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruninghooks into spears; let the weak say, I am strong.”

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”

Prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Rally at your local house of worship. There’s still time to make a stand.